I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
