his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
