I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
