Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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