And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
