woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
