Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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