She is in my trunk
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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