It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
