so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I need moral support for this bender
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
