I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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