So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
