brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
