Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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