sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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