oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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