So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
