My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
