I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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