I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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