Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
