wanna go halves on a baby?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
