If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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