discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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