Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
