why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
