I got chris browned last night
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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