I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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