I feel like abortions should bother me more
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
