Say something about gay babies.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
