I think I am morally bankrupt
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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