Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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