I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
