I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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