oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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