Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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