I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
