Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
