yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
