You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
