Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
