bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just googled if crying burns calories
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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