Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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