Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
