I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
