the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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