Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
