was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
