READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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