At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i will never coherently bang her
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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